The first post using my new MacBook! Yay! Time to bring out the big guns for an entertaining and unforgettable story! Remember when I talked about embarrassing yourself for the happiness of others in the “Spaghetti Sauce Incident of 2011”?? Well if you didn’t read it, it basically goes like this, I embarrass myself, you laugh, therefore you’re happier. While this story could be construed as embarrassing to most, I’m actually only partially embarrassed and partially very proud.
This story dates back to the warm spring days of April 2011, just a few short months ago when my girlfriends and I ventured off to the desert of Las Vegas for some Spring Break action. There were months of preparation, the “GTD” plan as I liked to call it – Gym, Tan, Diet. This story is kind of like the hangover, in that I’m going to stick with the “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” motto and just tell you about the trip back from Vegas.
After months of GTD preparation, there was a definite need for some substantial food packed with serious calories, what better than a Chipotle burrito?? As we pull off into the lovely town of Barstow while still drinking from our massive “Rehab” bottles of Mimosas, there are two things in our minds: bathroom and burritos. I take the first trip to the bathroom while the other girls get the burritos (I know you don’t need to hear about when I go to the bathroom, but it’s relevant to the story!), then I take the burrito filled trays to the table while the other girls visit the bathroom (still relevant), I then begin to annihilate this burrito like it is the first food I’ve eaten in months… it practically was. The girls return from the bathroom app 3-4 minutes later to find that I have made that burrito my mission and taken down app. half of the enormous meat-stuffed tortilla in a few short minutes.
As I look at my BFF after taking her first glorious bite into burrito heaven, I see the sadness and anger in her eyes as she says to me “this is not my burrito…”, so since our other BFF got a bowl, that means I have now devoured almost 2/3 of her burrito. Unfortunately there were things in my burrito that the BFF couldn’t get down with so I told her I would go buy her another burrito. Basically as the story goes, she denied me buying her another burrito, ate the 1/3 of her burrito that had survived my attack and I continued on to then also eat my entire burrito… yes if you are counting that is 1 + 2/3 burritos, 12,000 calories and 10 lbs of food I have now consumed. The look in the other girls eyes was one of terror, disgust and pride. Surprisingly, this isn’t even the end of it… after returning to our little rental car I found a chocolate chip Clif bar and decided I needed a little dessert… that. just. happened.
It has been to the amazement of many people throughout the years how much food this little girl is actually able to consume. From finishing off dates dinners (yup, that happened) to ordering 50 Chicken McNuggets at McDonalds (yup, that also happened) to the great Chipotle burrito defeat of 2011.