Sometimes you have to embarrass yourself for the happiness of others. In this case, Me: embarrassed, You: happy.
A week ago today I was hustling and bustling around town to get about 1 million errands done in which I had time for app. 1/2 of 1 of them. Luckily Target now has the added convenience of their nice new “Market Pantry” grocery department. Yes, I realize in Oklahoma, Texas, pretty much everywhere with land you have “Super Targets” but those of us living in the concrete jungle spend 45 minutes driving 3 miles to Target, then pay $2 to park in a structure and are excited about the fact that there is now a small grocery section!!! Yes, I am jealous of you all and your “Super Targets” if you had not already picked up on that 😉 Needless to say the added grocery element that day knocked out my stop at both Target and a Grocery Store so I was happy about that.
As I arrived I knew I only had about 15 minutes to get in and out so I did the old “I don’t have enough time to buy enough stuff to fit in a cart so I should get a basket to encourage myself to quit shopping when the basket is full” trick. Don’t look at me like that, I know you have all done it, but it never works out that way. You then end up being the person that has to ask for a cart because your basket is now over-flowing, or you are this person, me, the person that continues to carry my over-flowing basket filled with a gallon of milk, 1/2 gallon of OJ and pretty much the heaviest items I could possibly find in the grocery section. Now that I have realized my small, yet mighty arms can’t bare to hold the basket anymore I know that it is time to head for the check-out stands. I grab my last item, a jar of red pepper flakes, just in case you were curious, pick up my 75 lb basket and head from the very back of the store (this is relevant, I promise) towards the check our lanes. One step in and spaghetti sauce flys out of the basket, hits the shelves, lid flys off, spaghetti sauce all over the floor and wait for it, wait for it, I’m not going to slip and fall, I’m not going to slip and fall, yes actually I am going to slip and fall face down in the spaghetti sauce in the middle of target. Let me paint a little picture for you.
Target employees, customers, hungry animals come running and here I lay thinking “well that’s going to leave a bruise”… and it did.
But don’t you worry, the Target employee’s first priority was to replace that jar of sauce (because that was definitely what I was worried about at the moment). The culprit:
They then proceeded to walk me through the entire store (I told you the fact that I was in the very back of the store was relevant), one Target employee pushing a cart with my basket of grocery’s inside and myself dripping in spaghetti sauce, praying not to slip again on my way to the bathroom. We proceeded to the front of the store where I then washed myself in the Target bathroom sinks, but of course being eco-friendly Targét there were only hand dryers in the bathroom, no paper towels, so I now had to make my way to the in-store Pizza Hut sopping wet to ask for napkins. If only I had listened to the Target ad…
Yes, this was literally the ad from this Sunday.